I have no direction in life. I am almost 40. Only a few years ago I got really lucky and after a lifetime of poverty I received a windfall so I have some money now. Not enough to live on forever but I have this opportunity to finally try to make something of myself and I find myself completely stuck.

It makes me feel totally inept at life. Here I am with all the opportunity in the world and I can't find my way to integrate into the world.

I hired a math tutor because I never got an education in high school so I am trying to make up for that. But what next? college? I cant imagine being successful. and even if I did I have no social skills. They say that is the real path to success, networking. I can't network. I can't "sell myself" I dont feel capable of anything I feel worthless. I am terrified of life I just dont feel like there is a place for me in the world!

For the past few days I can't keep tears out of my eyes. I am sitting here trying to study my math and it just feels totally pointless. I feel like i am just wasting more time and money doing this.

I just wanted to scream out my frustrations. I guess I am done now.