ok, serious question unlike my other threads...

My therapist asked me today how I've been doing. I said I've been doing fine but that I haven't eaten in over 48 hours. She asked why. I said, "Because I have no food left in my apartment and I'm too lazy and anxious to go grocery shopping, but mostly extremely anxious." Then she asked, "So, have you been taking your medications? I know some people get nauseous if they take them when they don't eat." I said I kind of was and kind of wasn't. At that point, I wasn't going to lie... I told her that I reduced my rexulti dose to 1mg with the intent of going off it. I probably should have lied because now she's probably ratting me out to my pdoc... again. ugh.

What the hell am I going to say to my pdoc now? I don't want an antipsychotic anymore. I don't like their long-term health implications. Plus, I've been feeling stable ever since increasing my Zoloft dose. The only reason I've got 1 hr of sleep in the past 56 hours is that Rexulti normally sedates me and now I'm not being sedated, so my body is readjusting (or at least trying to). I want to keep my other medications, but I'm afraid my pdoc won't prescribe my ritalin anymore if I don't take my antipsychotic.

My therapist told me to go eat something because she says my body is going to crash from no sleep and no food, except now I'm back at my apartment because of a work crisis. No time to get food. ugh. And I don't have cash for delivery. I'm feeling perfectly fine right now, though.