((((((candor))))))))) i know exactly what you're feeling. i've been there. the last few months have been so bad for me. but, i am still here. hopefully, this new treatment that i have will be helping me. even if it's only partial, i'll take it. hang in there. do you see a psychiatrist. maybe a medication adjustment is in order. i know this experimenting/wait-and-see thing sucks big-time. i hope you keep coming here. it really does help, even if you can't tell right now.