i have been like that for the last few months.... i know. come here. it will help to come here. i know you don't know many here, but there are wonderful people here. i'm glad to have some friends here. it may not feel that it will help you, but it does. even if it didn't help, it's better than the alternative. i know - "what's the point." i was like this for a long time. i'm still here. i'm glad to be here. kinda weird to say this now, but i am. keep coming here.