I'm quite sure my current T would never say he loves me, even though I feel love from him at times. And he doesn't use the phrase "I care about you," but will say "I care very much about your well-being and your success," which he said again Wednesday. I asked about the difference, and he said it's the type of caring, that it's within a professional relationship rather than a friend. But when asked, he said that distinction has nothing to do with the amount of caring, just the type. And I'm OK with that--I liked his clarifying that it had nothing to do with the amount. I did kinda tell him I loved him like a year ago, but I said "I feel love toward you." I clarified it was platonic love. He was like, "So really, you just like me a lot then." I was just like, "Uh, yeah, sure, yes, that's what I meant..."

With ex-T, at one point, I said I loved her, then said I know therapy is a weird relationship, so I understood that she couldn't say it back. She agreed with it being a unique relationship, then added, "That doesn't mean I don't feel love for you, too." Which felt nice. With ex-MC...well, the third time I told him I loved him led to a rupture that ultimately ended our relationship. And actually, each time I said it, he got weird toward me for a while after. Though he said the first two times felt like paternal, while the last felt more romantic (despite my saying was platonic), which is why he was suddenly all "BOUNDARIES!!!" When he'd been so loose and inconsistent with them before. Yet I often felt love from him, too. That was a complicated and messy relationship...and it makes me appreciate current T's boundaries, even if at times they frustrate me.