**** went down today and everything is collapsing. Family and friends , hatred towards me I feel that I deserve from thesse people

Your words keep ringing in my head "part of you has to die"

I watched that part of me die in the mirror today, red faced red eyes pained and sobbing. Totally desperate.

She almost killed us today

Part of me will die today but not all of me. I'm letting her go. I'm no longer allowing her to make me suffer and wish for death every day.

She is grieving and sad that she Has to go. Shes been me for decades

I dont know who I am without her

I'm scared of what's to come. She has to go, she is dying today before she takes us all with her

I won't let her kill me

I'm scared of everything, what will happen next. When she goes ... who will I be

I hope to be reformed . A new person. I hope to no longer suffer Matt. I cannot suffer anymore

I want to be new . I no longer want these burdens of hurt and rage

I watched her eyes in the mirror as she cried and pleaded to kill us all. I watched her face twist up and turn red , the tears pouring down, the huge frown and sad, guilty eyebrows

I watched her and sunk to the floor ..collapsed and saw myself from afar, I saw her slumped over on the bathroom floor and I knew right then that she has to die today

Part of me will die today but not all of me. I'm so scared of what is to come.