Hello KookieJay: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I believe this is your first posted thread here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I'm not the best member, here on PC, to be responding to your concern. (Hopefully there will be other more knowledgeable PC members who will also reply.) My own personal (not experienced) opinion would be that if you have always been a parent your daughter felt she could come to then I suspect you could just reinforce with her the notion that she can come to you with any problem & let it go at that... (unless you feel there may be a serious problem which may require direct intervention. To some extent, I think how you might handle this concern depends on how serious you feel the situation may be.)

If, however, you did not lay the groundwork for this kind of open & supportive relationship early on, to suddenly now want to jump in & expect your daughter will talk with you about a possible relationship may simply be unrealistic. You can, of course, certainly try. And in that case, I guess I would just come right out & ask her about it. But she may or may not respond.

Here are links to 6 articles from Psych Central's archives. The first 5 articles deal with parenting teens. (You didn't mention how old your daughter is. So I'm just making the assumption she's a teen.) The sixth article offers suggestions for talking with someone who always gets defensive:

Parenting Teens and Tweens: Being an Available Parent

The Worst Parenting Advice

5 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship with Your Teenager

Improve Communication with Your Teen

4 At-Risk Behaviors in Teens & What Parents Can Do

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.