I understand. But I think hypomania is still better than depression. And if caffeine decrease your depressive episodes, It's then okay to drink it. I agree that Mania is dangerous. But hypomania is not so dangerous, as it doesn't require hozpitalization and doesn't trigger psychotic features. But yeah our both cases are very different, because you have hypomania with coffee, but I can't say I get proper hypomania with coffee, it's rather a very slight hypomania, you know there is mania, then hypomania then something called "hyperthymia" that you encounter in cyclothymia disorder. Hyperthymia is less than hypomania. Just like hypomania is less than mania. Hyperthymia is a very slight upbeat mood, without being dangerous at all. So I can get coffee I guess... I don't use coffee as a recreational drug, but as a medicine to help me cope with depression. It's sad to say, but my brain doesn't naturally creates dopamine and serotonin (neurotransmitters responsible of happiness feeling) I mean my dopamine and serotonin levels are VERY LOW, I so I NEED coffee to have normal serotonin and dopamine levels. Otherwise I'm depressed everydays.

I don't try to impose my opinions to you and try to make you drink coffee again, it's not that, I'm just sharing my own experience with coffee. As said again, our disorders a very different, you have bipolar disorder, while I "just" have a cyclothymia disorder. So coffee is less dangerous to me than it is for you.