I’m currently in a really intense master’s program and because of that, I don't have any way to financially support myself. I'm living with my partner of 6 years, he is 29 and I (female) am 27. Another thing that is really important, we’re living in a rental property of his parents and they have been very kind as to not charge us any rent while we’re getting our degrees.

My partner has recently just finished his own master’s degree and I’m so proud and happy that he’s completed it. It was a giant accomplishment and we haven’t taken it lightly. Before I started my degree, I spoke to him about how much support I was going to need around the house and emotional support as well. He’s really good at listening to me with one caveat: if he’s the one causing the problem.

Which puts me where I am today. I’m currently at school or the library from 8 – 6 or later most days, and I literally don’t have the time to help out much around the house. I’m coming home to a mess nearly every night. He also hasn’t made much of an effort to get a job. He drinks pretty much every night, and he gets too lazy to clean up after himself. Half of the time he’s nocturnal, which according to him, doesn’t matter that much because I’m not home during the day anyways. If I try to talk to him about any of this, he immediately gets defensive. Either says things like “Well, you do that too!” (not true in most cases) or “I made dinner for us!” (true and I appreciate it but it's not the only thing that he needs to do) I know that there’s a lot going on in his head, possibly alcoholism and depression, mixed with some low self-confidence. He is on anti-depressants already but I don’t think they’re working. I’ve tried to encourage him to go to a counsellor, or a doctor, or even just to the gym, but he just tells me I’m nagging him too much. So how do I talk to him in a way that will show him my concerns without him feeling like I’m attacking him? And if I can’t do that, how do I continue living in this house, get my degree, and keep myself in a healthy mental place in the mean time?

Also, I want to be very clear about this: I don’t have any local family, and pretty much all of my friends live in college apartments. I don’t have any money to pay for rent, and I’m already up to my eyeballs in student loan debt, so even though it’s what I want to do at the moment, moving out is not a realistic option.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.