I’m really sorry several of you in this thread have experienced this. If the T did not improve after repeatedly bringing up the hurtful transgressions, I would personally be looking for a new one. I have absolutely called T out on things like not returning a message when she said she would or a crappy apology in which she didn’t actually take responsibility for her actions. And things got better. She changed her behavior, and I thanked her for doing so. The communication aspect seems really important here. Because 1) I’m willing to tell her what bothers me, 2) she’s willing to apologize and adapt, and 3) I’m willing to forgive her and be at least partially flexible, we can keep moving forward.

It has helped to objectively describe the facts of the situation that upset me, how it subjectively made me feel, tell her what I need to happen differently, and explain how that change will positively affect me in the future all while remaining open to potential alternative solutions.