Ok, just wondering if given your issues with paranoia you might be hearing things in a recording that aren't actually there. Kind of like how people watching a TV show on the paranormal might be convinced they do hear specific words that are supposedly of a ghost talking at a seance - but if they heard the recording without being primed, they wouldn't hear anything but static.

Just seems extremely improbable that given you have anxiety about talking about your issues and have low self esteem, that you would just not notice your therapist directing words like "horrible" and "stupid" at you - regardless of momentary distractions. That just doesn't make any sense.

In your situation, I would either stop recording my sessions, because it was not helping my paranoia, or at least stop listening to the recordings. I would also speak to my psychiatrist because I would be concerned about my paranoia (I personally have family members who are schizophrenic. For them, their paranoia is a symptom of psychosis - but I don't know what your story is. That's just what I would be concerned about given my family history). If you have issues with paranoia, I realize talking to your psychiatrist (if you have one), might feel like it goes against your instincts, but that's what I would do. After all, there's no medication I know of that will make you not hear someone say certain words - so if they prescribe something and it helps, that will at least tell you something.