I have been feeling the same lately. I feel ridiculous because right now things in my life are better than they ever have been. I feel like I dont deserve all the good I currently have and I fear losing it. In fact I feel certain I will lose it and I know I can't handle it when that does happen.

I have been feeling so much fear and sorrow lately.


Like you I am trying to make my situation better, but it always feels like I am just prolonging the inevitable crash. Like I am fooling myself to think things can actually get better (in my mind). Maybe we are just wired for hopelessness and no matter how our situation changes we will always default to that (or similar) state of mind.