Fern ~ I was diagnosed just a month ago at age 68. My "new normal" is now being redefined, like you, in how I see myself.
You are not broken. Here is my favorite saying that I want to share with you "strong at the broken places".
That is a very healthy remark "I think I need to focus first on fixing how I view myself. The rest is really out of my control". I agree with you on this. Coming to the realization that we cannot control how others view us is a difficult one. Our sense of reality may be different than how others see us, but the most important thing is how we see ourselves. We are the one living with the ups and downs and strange feelings that are out of our control at times. So, control can be an issue for us.... letting go of control over what others think of us and gaining control over our changing moods.
Keep remembering that you are "strong at the broken places"
Birdie
Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
It definitely changes things. Even the people who love me and accept me the most see me differently now. I don't blame them. My behavior was extreme even if it was out of my control. I just wish I could go back so they would see me as the same strong woman they saw me as before. Now I imagine they view me as a survivor, but a little bit broken. People don't understand fully and feel sorry for me. I feel like they also think its my fault to a degree. They are scared for me that I'll lose my grip on reality again. I'm afraid too, and if I'm honest with myself I see myself differently now as well. It is still difficult to accept the new normal. It still feels surreal.
I'm not sure that my location has anything to do with how people view me. I think I need to focus first on fixing how I view myself. The rest is really out of my control.
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