On the topic of control... When the therapist has described my actions as being controlling, I think my motivation has been anxiety and even fear. The person that I am trying to control is doing something that feels threatening to me, so I try to control them to mitigate the threat. Not saying that is a justification, but it tends to be what is at the root of my controlling behaviors. For example, when I first started working with the therapist, I felt threatened by her classification of some stuff that had happened to me as abuse. I demanded that she retract this opinion and admit she was wrong or not only would I not come back, but I wouldn't let C come back, either.