Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
It sounds to me like you and he DID work thru this. You (plural) linked your request to his vacation. It was your classic tantrum, just like my classic tantrum when my t went on vacation was to ask if he was going to stop by my apartment on his way to/from the apartment. As you can see, i like the classic tantrum aspect of it. I think thats when you know youve hit paydirt. Plus it simplifies things. Which is what a schema is/does.
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Agreed that I feel we did work through it. And I feel I learned quite a bit from both having the conflict and talking it through. (Not that I want conflicts every week of course!) More than I'd have learned if he'd just given in to what I wanted. Or if his reply to my email was just "I'm really sorry I upset you. Of course I can stand." I didn't grow up experiencing healthy conflict (or any conflict, really--well, very little), so perhaps this is a way of my learning it. So this might be considered a schema then? I don't know too much about those.