I recall reading write ups where he has done or said something "warmly." Using that specific word. So he is warm. Not being "warm and fuzzy" does not mean someone is just cold and distant.

As long as this therapist feels helpful to LT, I see no reason to go searching for something else - especially since incompetence can masquerade as understanding transference. I've read of many therapists on this very board who all appeared to understand up until the moment they didn't - and terminated or otherwise really harmed the client. LT already had one such experience with ex MC, who said all the right things but actually had no clue what he was doing. Then when push came to shove, she was the one who got hurt, as is always the case. At least this therapist seems relatively honest for one of his ilk.

LT, I think it continues to be a good call to distinguish what you want from what you need. Maybe at some point, your needs will change, but I bet putting your wants on the back burner will pay off in the end. Also keep in mind that everybody's advice to you about leaving or staying with your therapist has a generous dose of projection added in. For example, people who want you to see a more warm and fuzzy therapist might read your write ups and feel vulnerable, insecure, and misunderstood when you do if they have similar issues to you, or if they have personally found therapy with a warm and fuzzy therapist most helpful. Likewise, people who defend your therapist might be working with therapists who aren't warm and fuzzy, but whom they feel loyal to for whatever reason. Maybe their therapist is really effective and they just want you to experience this. Or maybe they feel defensive on their therapist's behalf for not being warm and fuzzy. My point is, everybody is projecting and nobody is objective - and none of the examples I gave have anything to do with you or what would work best for you.

Obviously, I include myself in people who project and aren't objective. I'm only mortal. Just saying.