I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering, @JustExisting! Please be kind to yourself. It seems like you're REALLY trying your Best and that's what matters. Finding out what we REALLY want from Life can be TRULY HARD! Please don't blame yourself for that. I'm the same way. I also don't know what to do with my Life! I can definitely relate at least in part. Please NEVER give up Hope! I understand things are being hard for you right now. Still, I believe you CAN do it. Perhaps College may need to wait until you feel confident enough that you feel like you can tackle it. I do believe you are every bit as valuable and as smart as EVERYONE ELSE! Please ALWAYS remember that. That's REALLY important. It's good that you're seeing a therapist and I'd encourage you share EVERYTHING that's on your mind and that you wrote here to us. Hopefully you'll BOTH be able to work on this together. Please be kind to yourself. You're doing ALL you can and that's what matters in the end. Please keep working with your therapist and let him help you. That's what you're paying him for after all. I'm sure with time you'll be able to figure out what to do with your Life. Give it time! Take baby steps, ok? It WILL get easier. I'm SURE of that! Please remember to be kind to yourself as you're also trying to get an education for yourself and that's good as well. Also perhaps having a small job, even a part-time one, may be of some help to save some moiney at least. Give it a thought if you feel like it and perhaps discuss it with your therapist! I'm not sure if you have a support network right now. If you do, reach out to them! If you don't, we'll be here for you. Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need Advice and Support. Sending manny hugs to you, my dear, sweet friend! I'm sure PLENTY of others will gladly help you as well! Wishing you LOTS of Good Luck to you and your Life with WHATEVER you'll decide to do! Sending extra safe, warm hugs to you, @JustExisting, and ALL of your Loved Ones!