Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneTennison1
the weird thing is that my "warm and fuzzy" t has way better boundaries than any of the others. she offers hugs and care but also makes it extremely clear that none of what happens in that room is about her and her needs. I am a chronic attacher to people and when they are fuzzy it makes me fuzzy. I thought having someone meet my needs would unleash a huge obsession and make me just want to be cared for but it seems to be the opposite. T offers care so freely it makes it safe to explore my reactions and feelings for maybe the first time ever, there is no obsession. It frees up a lot of head space when you can't think exclusively about whether you do the "right" thing to keep a person accepting you.
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The same as true for my current T, she has excellent boundaries, is a very safe T and readily gives me a big squeezy hug at the end of sessions. It's just what I need at this time. BUT years ago I was seeing a T who refused to hug me or touch me in any way and that was also exactly what I needed at the time. I needed to learn to connect in an emotional way not just physical. Had she started giving me hugs I would have fixated on them in the same way I did with my first therapist I saw when I was very young. Hugs and touch can not only help the therapeutic process but get in the way of it.
It sounds like LT feels this T is right for her and no one can know what is right for her at this time apart from LT. We can make suggestions obviously, especially if there's doubt involved, but ultimately LT knows what feels right and how much progress she is making.