Yes, buzzy, me too - that's a good way to describe it.

Thank you so much everyone Your replies have really touched me, and it's nice to know I'm not alone in this.

Like many of you, for certain my introverted nature plays a role, in addition to my bipolarity.

What I've learned from your replies is that it helps to continue to learn , and practice setting boundaries. And it's very important to learn skills to emotionally regulate ourselves -something I've just started learning..this certainly applies to me because of my CPTSD. And that most of us, regardless of age, are not going to have the social life we imagined we'd have, and there are going to be times of loneliness.

This is just my opinion, I feel it's worthwhile to accept that I am just not going to have the social life that I expected, and still hope for. There are moments of peace in that acceptance.