I think everyone has their own personal reasons for gravitating towards certain kind of people, whether they know it or not, @
SunriseCoco!

I DO believe it's important to recognize whathever pattern we're falling into and try to fight it back if we feel like it isn't good for ourselves! I'd say keep fighting. You deserve GOOD people to be with. Are you seeking therapy right now? Maybe that could help! Please DO consider it if you're not seeing one already. Whatever you decide I wish you the BEST of luck with your Life and with whatever your Decisions WILL be!

Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @
SunriseCoco, and ALL of your Loved Ones!