If you got back $3150 on a loan of $4000, then it sounds like she has made some effort to do the right thing. Maybe you'll get the last $850; maybe you won't. Maybe you need to close this chapter of your life and put it behind you. It sounds like you may have gotten to that point.

You say she was a source of support to you at a very low point in your life. It sounds like she was a good person to you when you needed someone to be. She treated you in a caring way. Then she was not able or willing to make that a permanent bond. It hurts to have wanted that bond to last and then it didn't. And maybe she misled you into thinking she wanted more of a friendship than she really wanted.

I think you are making the right decision to let go and move on.

You're not nothing, but you are suffering from unmet emotional needs. There's probably a long story behind that . . . or maybe not so long. But somewhere along the line you got badly wounded. And that was long before your involvement with this particular woman. Life can be very disappointing. I think most people here at PC have some experience with that.