Well, I can't really answer as I'm not a professional, @norrsken. Perhaps he's hurting himself that way because he feels like he "deserves" it because of his YEARS of abuse. Perhaps he's just too attached emotionally to those abusers to fully let go. In any case, I'd suggest to tell him to stop doing it and when he realizes he's doing it again, stop immediately and try to do something else. Do you think that may work out? Either way, I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're BOTH going to see a Psychiatrist soon as I feel like that may REALLY help him out. Wishing BOTH of you PLENTY of Good Luck! Sending many safe, warm hugs BOTH you and your Boyfriend, @norrsken!