I cannot shake the feeling that I have worn you out and that you're close to taking email away from me. I really really really hope I'm wrong. I like to think you'd tell me if this was the case - that we'd talk about it first or something - that there'd be some warning. I've been emailing a lot because this topic is SO hard, and it's shaken up SO many feelings.

Today was so hard. I am scared about having already sent you an email. I hope it's ok. I kept it adult. I kept it not needy. In reality, I'm over here crying and desperately wishing you were here and feeling like you are SO far away and like you don't care anymore... but I know that's not true... just

a mess
but you have got to be tired of my mess...

I cannot. shake. this feeling. that you want to be done with me.
I hate this feeling.