My thought is that is you've already identified a few of the problems keeping you from learning the skills you are looking to understand. Either you are able to work past these challenges or maybe it would be easier to find a different group or therapist. If that is not possible, try using the skills learned to ask for what you need . This may be a test of both your and your therapist's patience. I have had both good and bad experiences with DBT, but I also suffer from social anxieties which held me back from group practice. Practicing DBT skill in a group is an important part of the interpersonal part of the experience. Group dynamics may vary between groups and also by who is present or not there that day. Maybe try to find your role in the group and try to set a good example when possible.