I ended a very unhealthy long distance relationship with a man which last over a period of 1 year and 3 months. It has been 3 month since the breakup and i have been reading and research online for the type of red flags and uneasy feelings that I felt the whole time. After reading alot of narcissism and particularly covert narcissism, I have come to conclude that this man had many of the signs. I am looking for any insight here to see if anyone else has encountered the same type of emotional abuse in a relationship and if that is seen as a type of narcissism. To give some background about the relation and the this man's behavioral patterns I will list everything below:

1. He and I were casual faraway friends for many years
2. He is 56 years old and has been single and in very short term relationships and dating briefly in the last 7 years. His long term relationship many years ago ended because he refused to compromise and the woman wanted marriage and he also refused to hang out with her friends and etc
3. Prior to me, he had another failed long distance relationship 5 years ago. He also dating locally and the woman before me was local. He told me that he dumped her after six month because she was talking too much about her job. He referred to the situation as "I thought about ending it earlier but I realized it was better than nothing so I kept going on for six month and one day I just couldnt take her anymore" . He also told me that the woman was very upset and sad over the breakup because she was not at all expecting the breakup.
4. Shortly after this breakup he approached me and pursued me very strongly through very regular ad long online chats which involved alot of flirting and lots of indirect and subtle sexual innuendos. He came off very strongly and after 2 months of chatting online early everyday, he told me he had fallen in love with me. It was pretty much love bombing, saying the most romantic and sweet things like I have never met anyone like you, and similary things. He also made a huge point constantly about how important communication and intimacy are to him. I fell for it all and thought he was this amazing man and I thought I had finally met my match for a meaningful relationship.
5. We got together in his home town after 3 months of love bombing online. He was perfect and romantic. After I returned back to my city he started a whole cycle of hot and cold behaviour which last for a year. He basically would be hot ad flirtatious and chat for 1 week or 10 days and then would go totally dark for 1 or 2 weeks. When I would ask him why he would always give the reasons of being stressed and overwhelmed at work.
6. In the course of our 1 year and 3 month relationship, we had discussed very clearly to plan ahead our regular visits to each other in our respective cities and he had asssured me that he would be visiting regularly. However he cancelled his travel plans with me 3 times in April, October and in December. The reasons included being food poisoned, being sick and being overwhelmed at work.
7. During the cold periods he would also regularly make me feel so bad and terrible about the whole "distance" issue. He would say things like how he was alone and stressed and overwhelmed. However durig the hot periods which would come and go, he would say things like how great things were between us and how he was determined to make the relationship work.
8. I finally got to the point where I decided to end the relationship with himand when I told him I wanted to end, he insisted on wanting to make it work and how I was the best thing that had happened to him.
9. However his inconsistent behaviour never changed after his promise of wanting to improve the relationship.
10. Finally after 7 months of him postponing and flaking out of his promises to visit me, he came to see me what he had promised to be 8 days. Howver after the first day he said that his mother was sick and that he had to make his visit short and he left after only 5 days. During these 5 days he was nice and friendly however he was not the same romantic and affection man I had met and been with earlier. I sensed something to be very off and sensed a sense of passive aggressiveness about him which was very subtle.
11. After this short visit he completely disappeared and pretty much ghosted me for 1 and half months. When I finally demanded some answers and also decided to end things once and for all, he reappeared online and told me via texting in a cold way that he was done with me and did not want a romantic relationship with me and that he felt no connection. This was the same guy who prior to his visit was writing his undying love for me and how we should discuss our long term future together and having kids.
12. He did not have the courtesy to talk to me via phone or skype and used texting as a method of discard. When I called him out on his behaviour and let him know that I had bad gut feelings about his behaviour all along, he told me that it does not matter at all what I think and that this is all a reflection of my own poor qualities and not him. He was cold and unemotional and did not seem to care the least for anything. It was like seeing a different version of him.
13. Some additional info: during one of the times that he cancelled his plans to visit me, he travelled for work somewhere and sent me a picture with a woman in it. When I asked him who the woma was, he took 1 day to give me a reply. When he did reply he gave me two different explanations about the person and ever really revealed specifically who she was. He was also very protective of his phone whenever the phone was in his hands and I was with him.

In a nutshell he was always extremely flaky and inconsistent with his words and hardly ever had actions that supported his big smooth words. Future faking was always dominant throughout our short relationship. All along I felt I was dealing with 2 people in 1 person. A very charming warm person on the outside who was capable of saying the perfect things and then a very cold and dark and distant person who would disappear and passive aggressive and doing what they wanted and never taking into account my feelings and needs.

He mentioned to me once that he has hurt alot of people in his past relationships and now that I think about it, It makes sense to me now how that happened.

At the end the breakup was painful and traumatic for me because the way he made me feel the entire time. I always knew from the beginning somethings were very off but I never listened to my gut. I spoke with a therapist and she told me this type of man would never change and even if I was living in the same city i would never be happy with him. I think it was a matter of time and even if we dated locally he would eventually show his true colors.

Is this some type of subtle narcisissim?