I think sometimes crying is a result of the anxiety created by not expressing things like anger. C is very passive and not good at expressing anger. She cries when she gets angry even though she tries not to.

And that's not to say that I don't think crying can sometimes be used to control people, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I just wonder if part of what might be going on here (given that you weren't supposed to show negative emotions as a child) might be crying due to anxiety over expressing emotions. Maybe it's not always a situation itself that makes you cry, but the stress of communicating about it. I wonder if it's similar to how my demeanor becomes rather hostile when I have to communicate about certain things that make me feel vulnerable. While you tear up or even sob, I tend to show outward signs of anger with my body language and tone of voice. Perhaps both are just defenses against perceived threats to communicating with other people. Maybe we just deal with it in different ways.