when i was in therapy, i spent a lot of time on another support forum and a little bit of time here (i preferred the other forum because it pertained more to my specific issues and was private). T knew i visited the forums and that i often found them helpful . he had never heard of PC until i told him about it. so he went to check it out and his only real response to me as we discussed it further was 'there sure are a lot of people out there with mental health problems' (he was referring to the large amount of members that this site has).

anyway, he never said anything specific in regards that he thought i should not participate in these forums, even when i shared some of my postings and conversations with him over the years. it wasn't until after i had terminated therapy and i was reading through his session notes, that i had requested. he wrote an entry about that particular session where we talked about PC and him visiting the site. he wrote his thoughts and feelings about how he did not think it was a good idea that i should be seeking input from those forums or its members. i will never know exactly why he felt this way and could not be honest with me and say it in that session. i suspect much of it had to do with his own insecurities and lack of confidence. for one, he didn't want to upset me and deny me or tell me what i should not do (he often exhibited this type of insecurity in our relationship). second, i don't think he wanted me to be comparing my therapy, his techniques, and the relationship with others online. again, i suspect this was more about his lack of confidence.

regardless, if he would have been honest with me in that session and told me he thought it was a bad idea, i may have been slightly miffed about it, but i would not have stopped visiting the forums. the support of fellow members who often understood much of what i was going through, more so than my T ever could, was way more valuable then my Ts issue with his ego.