I took it. Then I called my poor husband and told him and I started crying because I feel like I"m losing so many things. But then yesterday I felt so marvelous like I had my s**t together. He's now worried, but said not to go out. He said I was talking a lot and fast and loud this morning. I didn't even know that. I thought it was just a the last number of days. Anyways, he said he's coming come early anyway because of an appointmnet I didn't even know about. I will be OK once the Seroquel kicks in a bit, I think. But I wish it would stop raining. Something about the rain is bothering me. I am going to close the window. But I don't want any TV or music on. I feel sort of sensitive to noise. The only noise that seems to comfort me is the sound of may fingers banging on the keyboard.

I even told my husband that I've been going to AA. I know that probably scares him anymore. It's not that I"m going to drink. No, I don't want to drink. That's not it. I just needed people. I feel like loved ones are dropping out of my life again. My pet. My dad. Now I'm afraid that my psychiatrist could. But that doesn't make any sense. I don't think. No, but that would be a tragedy. I depend on him so much. He's like more than a dad to me. He's more than my actual dad. If he were to go away, I don't think I could take it. I can hear and see the conversation. I feel I would be left speechless and everything in me would just drop to the ground. I actually think I would faint and need to be taken home by someone. My psychiatrist would probably have to call an ambulance.