I am opening my thoughts to the digital world. Herein lies what is in my thoughts. Be prepared for some sorrow. I am sorry for the pain, but I need to vent.

How can I learn to trust the world? Why do the people that mean the most to me lie to me? How can I allow a woman into my life to only find that all the things she told me became lies? She promised me forever and it had an expiration date. I became vulnerable to only have it thrown back at me. The despair is suffocating. Hope is being eclipsed by despair once again.

I am defeated today and feeling down. Is there any way I can trust again? I find myself helplessly grasping for the hope that once was within me. I used to have so much hope, but after this, it has all come to a screeching halt. So many people have lied to me in this world, how can I trust again?

My own mother gave birth to me and lied to me. She defeated me and made me the monster I am. The person that I was supposed to trust the most, annihilated my soul. I am incapable of love and have truly come to hate how I see this world. So many lies...How can I surface again? How can I trust again? How do I allow trust to manifest itself? This is disgusting and crushing me.

How do I teach my daughter to trust the world, when I am such a cynic? How do I give her the gift of hope, when it has eluded me for so long. Damn this cycle and the rebirth of the cynic within my soul. Damn the lies...