I don't think I updated on this thread, but Monday, T finally said that the main reason he doesn't want to stand it because it hurts his back to stand up and sit down from his desk chair (which is just like a dining room chair, not a comfy one on rollers). I said his back issues aren't anything new, because he mentioned earlier this year about injuring his back and how it kept bothering him, plus he sits on this special back support contraption in his regular chair (the one he sits in for session). That I'd rather him have just said that. How it would have been, "I'd rather not have to stand up then sit back down in that chair because it hurts my back." And I would have just said, "Oh, OK, I understand, no problem." That it could have saved both of us a bunch of grief.

He mentioned again about how it seemed I wouldn't take no for an answer, and that he shouldn't have had to explain himself. But I said that was such a quick, easy explanation, and it wasn't new info that his back was injured, so I'd have just accepted it. Or even if he'd just said "personal reasons." But that it felt more like, "Nyah, I'm not gonna stand up just because you asked me to." He asked if I meant it seemed passive-aggressive. I said a bit, or else at least stubborn. I said was partly because of what he'd said Thursday about how he didn't want to be controlled and wouldn't just do something because I wanted him to. That it sounded like he wasn't doing it on principle, not for some particular reason. That even if he'd said he has a good reason for it, would have helped. I forget what he said to that.

There was also something in there (later in session) about why he doesn't disclose more, and he said about how my mind is "a steel trap," which is the same as a phrase my mother has used with me. And he said how I hold onto to any little piece of information, which is the sort of thing she's said, too. So I think that triggered me, even if he didn't mean it that way at all. There was definitely something that session that triggered me, as . Which led me to text to ask if he could see me sooner, and he offered a Tuesday session, which I took (and which went fairly well). I emailed him something very brief later to explain why I wanted the extra session (I'm not supposed to do that in text, as that makes a scheduling text "more intrusive"), and he said he was very sorry to hear I felt that way and thanking me for telling him. May write up part of Tuesday's session--I'm seeing him for our usual time in a little bit (I opted to keep this session because, as I said to him, I'd rather try to get all this resolved before I then he goes away at the end of this month, so an extra session would help with that--he said made sense).