There's a lot about the following article that I find messed up, frightening, and just plain wrong, at least as it could be applied to me. But there are some aspects of this that I still think are interesting, at least from my experience. And an interesting point of view, if nothing else.
What therapists, with their own problems, can do about the situation is also not made at all clear in this article. But, if you feel like tolerating the c....py parts, it may be interesting or useful to read? And just ignore the junk?
Transference love and harm
Here is at least a part that sounded kind of like your (last) T.
Quote:
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The fourth group of therapists refuses to engage with the transference. They may do little or nothing to encourage the idealisation; when it emerges they ignore it, or treat it in a pejorative or disapproving manner. These therapists may feel incompetent, irritated or ashamed that this situation has arisen, and this produces shame and confusion in the client. The client then conceals the idealising feelings and they flourish in silence, until the adverse aspect becomes apparent because the feelings can no longer be hidden. . .
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So, it sucks and it's not only you and your T.
I didn't focus on it but I think I remember you mentioning your father passed away recently? And how is your husband doing? You have had so much (overwhelming) stuff handed to you recently. I so wish for you that you had some real-life support somewhere, somehow. Well, I wish it for myself so maybe it's just projection. But anyway -- I surely hope things get better for you soon. And hope the online T helps, not hurts.