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Old Aug 15, 2019, 01:56 PM
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MoxieDoxie MoxieDoxie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
Quote:
Originally Posted by cloudywithachance View Post
Good Morning, I’m new here, but I wanted to comment because this is something I have been worried about too. Over the last couple of months I have really started experiencing transference with my therapist. At first I didn’t recognize what was going on with me, because it’s been awhile since I’ve had this happen with anyone. When I was younger, it was a regular thing for me to develop transference with any women who I perceived as strong, confident, intelligent, etc. like teachers, professors, etc. they become like the mother I wish I had. Well none of my transference in the past has been this bad, but I am trying not to bring it up at all because I’m afraid my therapist will pull back or start treating me differently out of fear I’m going to become dependent or too attached, or worse, she might terminate. I know that most therapists wouldn’t do that, but it still scares me. I am wondering how long this whole transference thing is going to last!
If you read my previous post that is exactly what happened to me. I revealed to him my attachment and transference. Nothing happened right at that moment but he started changing his MO on everything. Modality, emails, how he sat. It was slow and insidious. Children of trauma/neglect really pick up on energy and non verbal cues that most will miss. Im not crazy. I felt him pull back emotionally and the connection I had with him was severed. He would do some disclosing on things about him and would comment if I had a new pair of shoes. That all stopped. I even walked in one day with my hair professionally streaked in purple......not a word from him. Pure poker face.

This has made me not want to tell him anything. The relationship that I thought was healing me is gone. He might as well just be a robot sitting there giving generic answers showing no emotion to me expect that stern look.

So....never tell your T how you feel.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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cloudywithachance, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, koru_kiwi, LonesomeTonight, Out There, RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto, SalingerEsme