I have no idea what you mean about the family holidays. And I don't think I'm treating my T so horribly. His original back injury was like 6 months ago, and it's not like he's mentioned it. I had no way of knowing that standing up from that particular chair would hurt him more than his other chair. I know this is a very different relationship, but an example I gave earlier this week is that if I asked H to get milk on his way home, and he just replied, "No." without explanation, that would bother me. If he said, "No, I have to stop for gas and that will already put me home late," then sure. I give other people explanations if I can't do something. Like...to use an example with T, I wouldn't have just asked him if he could decrease his rate for me without explaining why. If I have to cancel plans with someone, I'd give some explanation for why. If a friend is like, "Can I have a hug?" I wouldn't be like, "No!" without saying, for example, "I'm coming down with something" or "I'm just not a touchy-feely person so it makes me feel uncomfortable." Maybe I'm just weird, I don't know. But my mom always required explanations for everything, sometimes multiple ones. I didn't feel like going to dinner on vacation? I'm tired? No that's not good enough. I have a headache? Also not enough of an excuse. It's a migraine? "My friend has migraines and they're really bad, but yours certainly can't be as bad."