Hi marriagekeeper. Sorry to hear you are having trouble with marriage. That must be rough.

I am not sure what the solution is but does it seem that no matter what you do your wife is not content. You seem to be bending over backwards and she seems to just keep dangling the D word. One thing to ask, is this life of being in uncertainty and futile attempts to satisfy her really worth it. There are probably lots of factors to consider like if you have kids or property owned in common.

I would ask her with the counselor there,. "What exactly would make you happy with our relationship?"

Then I would ask myself is this humanly possible or not and will she just keep moving the goal posts when you approach giving her what she wants.