Hello marriagekeeper: I'm sorry I don't think there's a lot I can offer with regard to your circumstances. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of discernment counseling. Based on what you wrote in your post, it sounds as though something of this sort may be where you & your wife are coming to at this point. Within the article there are links to several additional sources of related information:

When One Spouse Wants Out of the Marriage But the Other Doesn't

My best wishes to you & your wife. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.