Any of those things would be hard for anyone, @Stuck1nhead. I'm DEEPLY SORRY for what you've been through! It's good that you're acknowledging your feelings and the possible causes though. Sometimes there isn't one specific cause only but many factors comined, including chemical imbalance and genetics. Are you getting any kind of treatment right now or are you just trying to live Life as best as you can together with your Wife? Please be kind to yourself. You're stronger than you think. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're sharing your thoughts and writing here. Please keep doing that if it helps! Be extra kind to yourself and your Wife. I'm SO SORRY things are being so hard for you. I hope your Wife is supportive of you at least. In any case, we're here for that. Feel free to PM me ANYTIME although I'm sure you know that already. We're here to help! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Stuck1nhead, your Wife, your Family, your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!