Aug 16, 2019 at 07:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleMirrors3
Would you leave your therapist if you knew you wouldn’t collapse and die?
You describe him as being toxic, punishing and not attuned to your pain. I’m guessing if you could break the transference with a different therapist and feel better, you wouldn’t need this therapist anymore? Sorry if this is pushing a little too much into uncomfortable territory.
One goal that might be worth bringing to another therapist is “choice”. You should be able to choose to leave this therapist (if you want to) without thinking you are going to die. Not having a choice is not okay. Choosing to stay is fine too, but at the moment you are hostage and that is a scary, disempowering place to be.
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When I last sent a message to my ex-T, when I lived in a different state, he said in a voice mail that I am playing out Repetition Compulsion. Great so I can google the **** out of that but yet again understanding does not make all this emotional **** storm stop.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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