Smart women pay attention to how a man talks about (or to) other women, especially women that he's been in a relationship/marriage with. Having the mother of your children tell you that she wants you out of her life is about as hurtful as it gets. (Though, usually, the woman has a pretty good reason.) When a man who's been through that manages to pull himself together and move on without harboring a bunch of bitterness, it shows there's something very positive and healthy in his mental make up. It shows that he probably takes some responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage, which is another sign of a good attitude.

A man who runs down his ex-wife or his ex-girlfriends has a "victim mentality." He believed he could have had a good life, but this no-good woman came along and ruined his life. Smart people realize that we make our own lives, and we make our own happiness or misery. A guy who claims a woman ruined his life is a baby, IMO. Feel free to disagree. I believe that, and I haven't found too many successful people who disagree with me. I'm just giving it to you straight. Many people won't be that blunt, but will quietly think it.

So a woman notices when a man who has been through the pain of some failed relationships doesn't moan and whine about it. It shows he's got some emotional maturity. It shows he doesn't carry around hostility toward women (which smart women run like heck away from.) It shows he's not into "blaming." It shows he "rolls with the punches" in life. It shows he's probably not an abuser. A guy who can have a positive attitude toward a woman who dumped him is a guy who tends to have a good attitude about a lot of things. A smart woman takes that in. The same guy can have a lot of faults. But his positive attitude rules out some of the biggest faults that cause serious problems for women.

Men who harbor hostility toward women tend to put it right out there. I was on a date with a guy who pulled out the stops on showing me a really good time. It was probably the best date I ever went on. He planned the whole day and spared no expense. We had drinks with dinner and then went to a bar with a dance floor and band. As the alcohol took affect, his tongue loosened up. He told me his ex-wife was beautiful, but said she was a byeech. The barmaid was really busy and didn't come over after he called her a few times to refresh our drinks. So he yelled out, "Hey Byeetch!" That killed off any interest I had in him. He noticed the change in my demeanor. I became quite cool. He took me home and didn't bother to call again. I was glad he took the hint. I have zero tolerance for men who display that kind of hostility.

Some men, who are not the angry-hostile type, will do a lot of crying about how victimized they were by women they had been involved with. That's another romance-killer for me. It's just not "cool." I'm thinking: "So why were you so stupid in your choice of women?" and, "Why did it take you so long to figure out your ex-girlfriend was a user?" and, "Why did you marry this woman, if she was no good? Are you that easily fooled?" (Then you're probably too stupid for me to want to be with.) People with any sense use "a screening process," when they're evaluating another person's potential. You just don't take everything a person says at face value. You analyze it. A man will tell me all kinds of things about himself that he doesn't even realize he's saying. (So will a woman.) You have to read between the lines. Most people do exactly that. To avoid giving a bad impression, you have to cultivate a good attitude.