I think it is perfectly fine to consult with another therapist especially if your current one cannot meet your needs. I'd let the new therapist worry about sharing notes. He/she is the expert and will know what is needed to assist you. You are in need of help and the only wrong choice is to continue to wait and suffer. You said this is a me issue and not a med issue. That is precisely what therapy should address.

There are no real turns to wait in the medical arena. Patient sympyoms change and priorities shift. Professionals are trained to change gears and address new and critical needs as they arise. Think of it like an ER. They do not necessarily see patients in the order of their arrival. They treat patients based on the severity of their needs. Patients that are stable can wait. Patients that need immediate attention are moved to the front of the line. Your needs are more critical now and waiting to be seen will not serve you well.

I saw another poster suggest you write down how you're feeling when you meet with your therapist or pdoc. I think that is a fantastic idea for you. Printing out some of your posts here could help shed light on your thinking and your feelings. I know it is difficult for you to open up, but you do a beautiful job of that here. Just something to consider. I hope you are able to access the help you need soon. Oh, and don't discount the value of IOP. It may feel like a burden, but you would have immediate access to a therapist and a pdoc. I imagine your husband would be able to see the value in that if you can find a way to be honest with him about how you're feeling.