Can you change someone? No, I dont believe you can without force, which would be abusive amd more like breaking them instead of changing them.

Can you influence a person to want to change themselves? Sure. You can positively impact a person and encourage them to better themselves. You can be the wind beneath their wings as they say.

If you force change, to me that is controlling and abusive. Enouraging positive changes, while still accepting who they are could be a good thing.