Thanks Maybeblue. I like your perspective from both sides. I don't know why (I'm going to think on this some more), but the word love is important to me. However, after reading all the definitions and synonyms I realize that "love" is too vague.

I'm thinking of taking a list of feeling words, and presenting them to her. So maybe if she doesn't want to or can't say "love", maybe she can say these other words.

I was talking to my dad tonight. He was telling me that I shouldn't just listen to the words, but to notice her body language, facial expressions, tone and volume. He said that the person might be able to lie, but the body or maybe unconscious can't. (He tells a lot of stories, so sometimes the meaning gets lost).