Sorry if it seemed like I abandoned this thread - these past few weeks I’ve been busier. But I’m back!

@Open Eyes: Thank you for your affirmation that I don’t need a SO to be happy. After years of jumping through other people’s hoops I think self-discovery is my highest priority.

@MickeyCheeky: Thank you for your kind words like always! I could definitely use help in not doing something for the sake of everybody else is doing it. I value your advice for what to do when the pressure from others comes down! People like you give me hope again for myself and the people closest to me!

@divine1966: In your first paragraph I meant what I said about living in fear of making one mistake and having the world turn on me. I used to be the person who rarely made such statements, but my comfort around people (esp women) has disintegrated. Part of it is stress because of a transition period but after having a bad first work experience and being in an environment where people are rather superficial has turned my fears into an avalanche. Now every seemingly little rejection has made me uninterested in engaging with the opposite gender, even if it’s not serious. Maybe my generation isn’t quite as pressuring as I thought if there is a trend for my generation to marry later. But even at a young age though I am hardened enough to be afraid to try again with things involving love or being friends with the opposite gender.

@lizardlady: I appreciate and value the sharing of your experiences! As you can see this is highly relatable. I am sorry about the pain that you have endured since losing your spouse. How inconsiderate for people to expect you to just put on a happy face even after such a loss! So far balancing my closer relationships has helped me to cut out some of those nagging outside forces. But like you have said a lot of this pressure is self-inflicted in the world of social media, and living in a rather conservative part of the country where younger marriages are more common. Thankfully I have had a lot of weight lifted off when I discussed this matter with my parents, who mutually agreed they never meant to cause me years of pain of feeling pressured after losing my uncle.

@sarahsweets: Actually yes. I had quite a few friends who happened to be female when I was growing up, but all of this seemed to change once I got to college. The groups I hung out started out with good intentions, when I thought they would be a safe haven from people who partied and got stoned all the time, but I feel sorry now for meeting the people I hung out with through my college years. I won’t diverge into all the details but a large part has been with my social groups being highly anti-social between genders, where hostility to men in general was encouraged. Then even when I’ve tried to make conversation or get my chance at a friendship I got shut down. All compounded where I went to school, where traditions rule, but unfortunately that resulted in a rather rigid group of people I went to school with. What a waste for my first intentional moment to make my first group of friends after high school.

@Sisabel: Thank you for your thoughtful response like always. I’m sure if I have one feeling, it’s highly likely that someone else will experience that same one. I guess that’s the human condition. I truly have noticed the “rule-making” from society that has seemed universal for all people.