Umm,

Well, yeah I think you all are on the mark here. My father was an abusive, drunk. But when I was a teen he sobered up and re-entered family life. I hated him then. However, he did provide a model for recovery and when I was an adult (after my mother died) he apologized in his own way. At that point I knew (although not overtly) that healing was possible. I have just realized that part now.

However, and this is a big however, my mother just plain wasn't there. Not emotionally; not physically. It just isn't enough that she was out working because he was unreliable. And it isn't a good enough explanation that I was abused because she had to go out to work. Sorry, but it doesn't cut it.

Sunny, as for T being a coach in this setting, well I think once a T always a T! I mean if I saw T in the supermarket he would be T, not a shopper. I can't imagine any setting where, even if he was wearing a different hat, he wouldn't be my T. Therapy is FORVER! Sigh. I think the strength of your relationship with T shows through here.

YOU are providing the model for healing and YOU are breaking the cycle by going to therapy and shining a light on the problems.