Quote:
Originally Posted by Icedgem
I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice on how to cope when you find yourself in the middle of an emotional crisis?
Over these past few weeks I've been having a bit of a tough time. Different things every fews day just annoying and frustrating me. These have been ranging from, double booking when making plans so I've had to let down a friend, pressure at work, generally being tired, forgetting my bank card, I have a food allergy and a 'safe' restaurant we often go to was fully booked so we tried somewhere new but that meant the only safe choice was a salad for me.
Annoyances from my ex husband regarding child care and maintenance money, ex husband cut off our internet (was still in his name so instead of changing it to mine he cancelled the subscription) these are just a few things.
Yes I know that individually they may seem small but these have been dripping through my life and last night I just lost it.
I have a bad back so asked my partner to rub some deep heat cream on it to help me, the tube was empty and that was the last straw for me.
I totally lashed out and blamed him, I was upset, crying, angry and in some pain from my back. It all just erupted over the cream being empty and I was shaking and crying.
That for me was an emotional crisis. That's my definition.
After a while I calmed down and be helped me and was understanding.
So I have a few questions;
1. How do people cope when they find themselves in the middle of an emotional crisis. What do you do to ground yourself and actually think rationally.
2. How do people recognise the signs BEFORE this happens to prevent it in the first place?
All advice help and tips welcome
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I very much feel you. When I start to notice I'm getting this way, I try to limit my interactions with people. I also just try to tell people that I feel this way. Usually just admitting to others that I am overwhelmed and need help opens the door for them to be there for me. And believe it or not, people do want to help, they just need to know how.
When things are going wrong and it starts to take the toll emotionally, I try to remind myself which things I have control over and which I don't. I have control over my reactions, but not necessarily other things. And if it gets to the point where I just need to go scream in my car or in the shower, then I do that. But I do try my best not to direct my anger at someone, if I can help it. If I do, I try to apologize sincerely right away and listen to them if I hurt their feelings and try to make it right. It's okay to lose it every now and then. We're all human and we all get overwhelmed. So it shouldn't be hard for a reasonable person to understand that, since we all experience it.
I got to the place of recognizing it before it happens because it happened enough times that I started to recognize the patterns. I started paying attention to how the emotions felt. My therapist made me actually focus on the sensations in my body of each emotion that I was feeling - anger, sadness, irritability, anxiety. So now, when I start to feel really hot and like my skin is crawling, I recognize that I'm getting angry. So then I slow myself down and try and address that emotion, understand why I'm feeling that way, and see what I can do to calm it.
The first step to recognizing it is recognizing how you feel.
I don't know about you but I grew up in a violent and abusive household. So growing up that way, there was no time to deal with my emotions. It was survival. I had to react and react quickly to protect myself. In adulthood that became a maladaptive coping mechanism, and I had to learn to reprogram my reactions and give myself space to feel and deal with how I feel. It's very counter to how I grew up and my natural instinct, but it's so much more effective and causes far less damage.
I hope this helps.