Hello

I understand that there may be attraction (or unconditional care for one another since it sounds like you all grew up together basically), but if you two truly loved each other, I think you would both see that furthering those feelings will only bring pain to all of you. Love comes in many ways. You can love her as family. You will always have her in your life. Love is a choice, like everything else. You don't have to be with someone and have them all to yourself, just because you love them. Most importantly, you need to see her as your wife's sister, not a potential lover.

I'm not sure how often you guys see/talk to each other, but I think it would be helpful if you drew some distance. We are human, and the more time you spend with somebody, the more attached you get. I'm going to make an assumption that you have crossed your boundaries at some point (talking about intimate things such as your marriage when things weren't going well, telling her things you don't tell your wife, etc.), because that is how you get emotionally invested. Your wife should be your #1 priority and your best friend. If she isn't the first person you want to call when you're needing to vent, or share good news, then what is the point?

& Of course her sister is scared. She's scared of you acting on it, talking to your wife about it, how her family will see her if they found out; she has a lot to lose. You need to be strong for both of you. I agree with Skeezyks, you two should never speak of it again.

You need to control your feelings - - - this lust, this taboo feeling of wanting someone so close that you can't have (and trust me, I know how intense it can get)- - - what's going to happen when **** gets out of control? The feeling of betrayal if she ever found out..? Your "sorry" won't mean anything to her; the trust is broken. The damage is already done and she's left making the hardest decision for you and her sister's selfishness: whether she should forgive you or leave you. She'll be the most miserable, when she did absolutely nothing wrong.


I can blab about this all day. But only You will know what the right thing to do is. If your wife was infatuated with somebody else, let alone your brother, how would you feel? How would you like her to handle it?

Feeling this way doesn't make you a terrible person, by the way. Love makes us blind... I think it's great that you acknowledged the issue and came for help. Good luck Anthony I am here for you regardless of what happens.