Hi everyone,

I've been dating a narcissist (man) for some years now, we're both aduts, over 40.

It's exhausting, we live in separate places now, but I lived with him a few years ago and it was exasperating.

The demands, the bossiness, the teasing, the fights, the jealousy, the control and the physical "play" (pinching, biting, and so on...)...


Now
Most of the times,we laugh and are ok with each other, he's supportive, and we're like friends, like "dudes" actually.
Fine to some extent, because I don't enjoy being the dude. He doesn't see me as a woman.


And we diverge in things that to me are important - like honesty and empathy, (which leads to political and sociological views).


He treats people like crap, he takes advantage of them, cons them if he needs to, he's racist, sexist, and he's almost always complaining, shouting, and insulting someone. He's never available when I need him in important stuff - stuff I do for him...


We don't have any intimacy anymore. We don't do anything together, because he's a real antisocial person. He hates everything and everyone. He always finds an excuse to avoid it.
We only spend one night a week together, at my place.


Yet, I live in the moment. So I tend to ignore the past and the future.

And in the moment, I'm fine so I just go with the flow.


But every time he shows me these abusive traits, I ask myself what am I doing with my life?

Still, I can't break up. I can't evaluate this decision properly. I know were not compatible. He's not healthy, but I like some aspects of his personality

I feel like I can deal with it one day at the time, so I let it flow.


What is wrong with me? Should I really be this permissive? Am I too positive for what this really is?

thank you