I am sorry you are feeling this way. I can understand wanting to quiet your mind. I think you are playing with fire though. Many people have died unintentionally doing the exact same thing you did. They take an extra pill or two thinking it will just give them slightly more of the effect than normal, but then the drug interacts with their body unexpectedly and its too late to fix it. Our bodies are so sensitive to the chemicals we ingest. It is difficult to know exactly how much is too much. This is especially true if you are taking more than one med. The efficacy of some of these meds changes drastically once you hit a certain level, so sometimes doubling a dose can create a much greater effect.

There are healthier ways to quiet the mind. I would spend time learning and perfecting those the next time you are stable. Practice and then you'll be ready to use one or more of the techniques the next time you are in a bad place and need them.

I think wanting to die is different than wanting to quiet the mind. You were seeking relief as opposed to a permanent end. I just fear you might accidentally create an end for yourself using drugs to seek relief.

What did your pdoc say?