Hello walkingby: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this difficult relationship. My own personal opinion, for what it's worth, is you really need to just dump this guy once-&-for-all. But that is just my opinion. Here are links to 9 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of help in gaining some perspective on your situation & what to do about it:

Repetition Compulsion: Why Do We Repeat the Past?

Why Do We Repeat the Same Dysfunctional Relationship Patterns Over and Over? | Happily Imperfect

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

The Codependent/Narcissist Dance: The Perfect Partnership

How to Leave a Narcissist or Abuser

https://psychcentral.com/blog/you-de...-relationship/

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...p-and-move-on/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...-a-narcissist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/liber...ssistic-abuse/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.