I’m panicking. I’m very, VERY anxious. I keep shaking my leg and feel nervous energy in my chest, as if I’m about to have a full-blown panic attack.

I don’t know why I am anxious, but I am. Every little sound or movement makes my heart race, and I can’t help but feel like I’m being watched, like there are cameras scattered across my apartment, set up by the apartment complex staff. I feel the presence of a supernatural force.

I used to have a 1mg klonopin prescription, but I lost it a long time ago. Plus, it’s probably expired by this point anyway, so it doesn’t matter if I can find it or not.

My pdoc stopped prescribing klonopin a long time ago because we agreed that I would go on Zoloft instead. I also never really used my klonopin Rx anyway, so I was fine with not getting a prescription for it. (I think I took it a grand total of 3 or 4 times over the span of 2 years...?) But now... now I’m anxious as f*** and could really use a klonopin right about now. I’ve never had severe anxiety that has lasted this long.

What can I do to alleviate this anxiety? I’m thinking about begging my pdoc for a klonopin Rx, but his assistant takes FOREVER to return calls. She also doesn’t even relay messages to him correctly half of the time. Not to mention she gets my name wrong all the time and calls me Michaela, when my name sounds NOTHING like Michaela and doesn’t even begin with an M! I know from history that she takes about 2 days to get back to me (and it may take even longer to get an Rx if she can’t relay information properly), so I need coping mechanisms for the interim.