Not sure of your age...

If I succeeded in what you are planning, I would never have seen the birth of my daughter.

You will be rewarded for surviving. There are things ahead for you that will give you happiness, trust me. I know the pain, the suffering, the bleak darkness...look for the light that is dimly lit within you. There is still a light, because you are still here--find it. I know suffering can be too much for some people, but sometimes fighting for your right to live can reap rewards.

--sarc